ANGRY???

Love, Anger and Forgiveness - How To Let Go And Be Emotionally Free Once And For All
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=William_DeFoore]William DeFoore

Anger and forgiveness seem to be opposites, and in many ways they are. You may be surprised to learn, however, that they have a lot in common. If you make anger the "bad guy," you just won't get to the forgiving part. Anger has to be fully understood and released before you get to move on to the freedom of forgiveness. Forgiveness has to be fully understood before you can let go of resentments and be emotionally whole and free.

It all starts with love. We are born with the need to love and be loved, and no one, even the best parents, can meet that need perfectly. Therefore we all feel hurt as a natural part of life. And of course, there are those hurts that are inflicted by abuse, abandonment and neglect, in some cases extreme.

From this pain, fear and anger naturally emerge. It makes perfect sense to be angry when you're hurt. Anger is an important place to visit, you just don't want to live there. Here is where forgiveness comes in. Forgiveness is the process of letting go of anger and resentment so that you can go on with your life. Forgiveness is for you, not for the forgiven. That is essential to understand.

Anger and forgiveness seem opposite, in the sense that anger involves an intense focus on the "wrongdoer," and forgiveness involves shifting focus off of that person and moving on with your life. Yet there are some ways that anger and forgiveness are the same.

How Anger and Forgiveness Are The Same

Unhealthy anger and premature forgiveness both include:

-Judgment

-The "one-up" position

-Dishonoring to yourself

When you are angry at someone and blaming them, you are definitely judging them and putting yourself in a "one-up" position. The way you are dishonoring yourself here is that you are failing to look at your own creative responsibility in the situation. This is the hazard of the "blame game." When you are into blaming others for your feelings, situation or plight, you are making yourself a victim and denying your own power and responsibility.

Premature forgiveness is forgiving someone when you're not through being angry. You are still judging them, and therefore you're seeing yourself as "one-up." You are dishonoring yourself by pretending to forgive in your mind, when your heart and gut are still carrying anger and resentment.

Here are some important truths to remember when you're angry:

-The other person is responsible for his/her actions that triggered your anger. You are not responsible for their behavior.

-You are responsible for your emotional reaction and for your actions that result from your emotional reaction. They are not responsible for your emotional reactions or your behavior that results.

Here are some other ways that anger and forgiveness are the same. When anger is healthy, and forgiveness is authentic, both involve:

-Power

-Release

-Letting go

-No more victim position

-Operating in a container of love

Both healthy anger and true forgiveness involve the power of healthy release and letting go, which takes you out of the victim position. This can only occur in a container of love. Anger can only be healthy when accompanied by some degree of love and wisdom, and forgiveness can only be true when it is based on love for yourself and/or another person.

Understanding Anger

Anger is the most misunderstood emotion. Most people just think it is bad. Here are some common misconceptions:

-Anger is a bad emotion and should always be controlled

-It is possible to be without anger completely

-It is wrong to be angry

-To be angry means to be out of control

-Anger is the same thing as aggression

-When a person is angry that means they are not safe to be around

These misconceptions result from the lack of understanding of healthy anger. Healthy anger is:

-A feeling you have when you're threatened or opposed

-A protective emotion

-Powerful energy that can be used for positive outcomes

-Fuel for effective action

Have you ever taken action about something that made you angry? Think about MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. They got mad, and took action in healthy, appropriate ways to resolve the problem leading to their pain and anger. Here's the bottom line on healthy anger:

Healthy anger fuels effective action!

Understanding True Forgiveness

True forgiveness is something that only your body can do. Surprised by that? Here's the deal. Anger and resentments are held in the body as well as the mind, and your mind can decide to forgive long before your body is ready. Literally, your body has a mind of its own. Here are some things to understand about forgiveness:

-Forgiveness is not just a decision that you can make in your mind

-Forgiveness requires an emotional and physical release to be complete

-Your body is capable of holding onto anger long after your mind thinks it has forgiven

-Forgiveness does not absolve the wrongdoer—you don’t have that kind of power

-Withholding forgiveness does not hold the wrongdoer accountable—everyone is accountable whether you forgive or not

-Forgiving doesn't mean you have decided that what the wrongdoer did is okay

-You don't have to wait for the wrongdoer to change for you to forgive

-You won't be able to forgive until you have fully examined the depth and extent of your wounds

-You won't be able to forgive until you have acknowledged the full depths of your anger

-Forgiveness is for you

-Forgiveness is good for your health

-Forgiveness allows you to be more loving and joyful

You will know that you have forgiven when your body is relaxed and your breathing is deep and easy—while you visualize the wrongdoer and say, "I accept you for who you are, with all of your best and worst. I no longer need you to change. I forgive you for myself, so that I can be free. I forgive you so that I can let go of resentments and feel love and joy in my heart, mind and body."

Your body will tell you if the forgiveness is complete.

Keys to Emotional Health and Freedom

-Take responsibility for your actions and emotions

-Do not accept blame for anything

-Place responsibility for others' actions and emotions on them

-Do not blame anybody for anything

Here are some thoughts to consider about love:

-Love can be intoxicating, and therefore can lead to unhealthy decisions

-The need to love and be loved is the most powerful force in human nature

-Love is who you are in your spiritual essence

-Conditional love is not really love—it is more about control

-The only real love is unconditional love

-You will always remember those people in your life who have loved you unconditionally

-You are at your very best when you are experiencing unconditional love

Life starts with love. Anger is an inevitable emotion, which can temporarily or permanently take us away from love. When we work through our anger, we can forgive. Forgiveness is a return to love.

The greatest of these is love. [http://defoore.com/drdefoore.htm]William G. DeFoore is a counselor, executive coach, speaker and president of the Institute for Personal and Professional Development. As the originator of the [http://defoore.com/DetailGoodfinding.htm]Goodfinding audio program, newsletter and website, he has also been on the faculty of the Wellness Program at Cooper Aerobics Center for fifteen years. He has 34 years of experience in helping people achieve healthy, happy relationships.

Get free information, watch videos and purchase books, CDs and downloads at [http://defoore.com]www.Goodfinding.com.

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Discover Your Talent

Discover Talent You Didn't Know You Had
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Rose_Rosetree]Rose Rosetree

Here is the big surprise I discovered, teaching aura reading in settings as different as Canyon Ranch in Arizona, a Zen academy in Tokyo, and public schools in Virginia (with adult ed. students who sometimes hardly even knew why they wandered into my classroom).

Everyone has one universal gift for reading auras. The implications are highly practical, because aura reading is the basis for Energy Spirituality. Auras are also the secret oomph behind Energy Medicine and Energy Psychology, the three Twenty-First Century arts of healing for mind, body, and spirit.

So, everyone could benefit from reading auras. And everyone has a gift for doing it. Yet --how funny is this? Although you are sure to have this gift, you have probably never even heard the name for it.

So what is the one universal gift for reading auras, the gift you are sure to have? Synesthesia is the name of that universal talent. It means that, however you arrive at the level of auras, once there all the rest of your senses will translate the information. You may enter this sacred level of life through hearing, touching or seeing, etc. Once there, however, you may notice a completely different set of sounds, feelings, sights, or other perceptions, all grouped together in a way that feels intimately familiar to you… because it is your truth.

The "Syn" part of the word "Synesthesia" means "together," like the "Syn" in "synonym" (words whose meaning makes them swappable, if together) or "synchronicity" (events that happen at the same time). And the "ethesia" part of the word refers to "senses," like an "aesthete" (an artist with very developed senses) or "anesthesia" (medication administered to turn off your senses before an operation so you do not take a swing at the surgeon).

Thus, Synesthesia means that your senses work together. When does this happen? Within reality there are innumerable layers, from surface all the way to the deepest truth within. It is true about your physical body, or your emotions, or anything else about surface reality that a truth seeker might explore. And when you get to that deepest level, that is where you experience auras.

Once you make the journey within, using your consciousness, you are THERE, at the level of auras, angels, and deep human secrets. And once there, your Synesthesia activates to bring in all the rest of your Gift Set. So you could use a technique to activate hearing or touch or vision or another sense in order to find your way in. Once there, you will use all your Gift Set.

What is this huge, and deeply personal, Gift Set that you have had your entire life? What does it have to do with reading auras?

To understand your Gift Set, imagine a big rectangle. Make it the size of the front door where you live. Different gifts take up different amounts of space on that door. In the popular myth about auras, Clairvoyance is the only important gift. Sure, a very small number of people has this kind of Gift Set: Mostly Clairvoyance plus, a bit of Synesthesia and maybe 5% of other gifts combined. These are people like Doreen Virtue, Barbara Brennan and Sylvia Browne.

Although their Gift Sets match what people expect in an aura reader, it is no better than yours or mine.. when it comes to delivering quality information, whether for your own wisdom or to do service for others. Techniques for aura reading that really work will help you to use the strengths in your personal Gift Set.

However you move into reading auras, trust what you get. Each person can make a unique contribution, for learning and for service. But you can only make that contribution when you are brave enough to boldly trust what you perceive.

In my how-to book, Aura Reading Through All Your Senses, I describe 12 gifts for reading auras in depth and detail. Your own Gift Set could be mostly emotional insight, physical awareness, subtle touch or taste or smell, pure truth knowledge or other magnificent abilities. That symbolic door you have imagined – it could have 10 percent each of 10 different gifts, or be mostly subtle hearing, or mostly empathic abilities. Any combination is possible. What matters is what you have in your personal Gift Set.

Now is not when you get to pick and choose your Gift Set. You chose before birth. Your job now is to live it and make it glorious.

Incidentally, Clairvoyance, the big famous gift, is not what it seems.

Clairvoyance means "seeing the truth," not necessarily seeing colors. A clairvoyant aura reader may see patterns of energy, movement of light, one or two symbolic colors, geometric shapes, or have an experience that could be called "seeing but not seeing."

I would love to teach you techniques to move awareness to the level of auras. But however you get there, what matters is that you trust your own Gift Set. Please do not expect to read auras exactly the way anybody else would.

Even the super-rich can't hire servants to have babies for them, as Dave Barry once observed. And the super-rich can't hire other people to have sex for them, either. (Maybe this is not a bad thing.) Nor would it be possible to hire someone with a superior Gift Set whose special talent can rub off on you.

No, other people can only help you to find your way in. They can supply techniques or concepts or encouragement, but only you can have your own experience.

So trust it. The emerging field of Energy Spirituality is all about changing life for the better based on the kind of perception that is your birthright, your magnificent Gift Set for reading auras.

Rose Rosetree is America's leading expert at Energy Spirituality, with how-to books about Aura Reading, Face Reading, and Skills for Empaths. She offers phone consultations for healing auras, including 12 Steps to Cut Cords of Attachment™. Sign up at her website for a free monthly zine. Preview her books or order at http://www.rose-rosetree.com or call toll-free 800-345-6665.

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